The Beginning
by riomicro
Summary: The begin of Adam's transition as how I imagined it would of gone. Partially drawing on my own experiences as a FTM


**I do not own Degrassi or Adam though I wish I did.**

I can't do this anymore, I want it all gone. I reached for the scissors and looked in the mirror, I grabbed a chunk of hair and started hacking at it. The hair kept falling in waves to the tiled floor. Once I was done I cleaned up and went back to my room.

I grabbed the baggiest clothes I could find and a baseball cap, putting them all on, I grabbed my wallet and all the money I had saved up from the hidden box under my bed, and headed for the door.

I got to the mall and went to the first unisex clothing shop I could find, I went and had a look in the mens section, but everything was too big. Crap! I headed for the boys section at least it's cheaper. I found some jeans that seemed like they would look good. A few t-shirts a belt, underwear and a heanie later I went to try it all on.

I showed the attendant how many items I had and she gave me a key. Thank god she didn't object to me using the mens side of the fitting rooms, she just gave me an odd look. Once I had tried it all on I tallied up how much it would cost, perfect I still had about $100 left after I paid for these clothes.

I walked into the chemist and found what I was looking for straight away. An Ace bandage should do the trick of my research was to be trusted. At least until I can get a hold of a binder.

After all this was paid for I caught the bus home, thankfully no one was home yet. I sat down at my computer after hiding my new clothes, and opened Word and began typing. I was typing a letter to my family to explain all of this, I just don't think I can tell them face to face. But then again maybe if I have this in my hand I will have the courage to tell them, and if I don't then at least I will have the letter as a backup.

Once I finished typing, I checked the time, good I still had an hour before anyone got home. I printed the letter and then went to have a shower. I came back after my shower and grabbed the bags from my shopping trip, I put on the underwear and jeans and belt then looked in the mirror, I hated them, I wanted them gone. I got out the bandage and started wrapping it tightly around my chest, flattening the lumps I so hated. It took me a few go's and by the end I was happy with the result but couldn't quite breath properly, oh well. I put on one of my new t-shirts and combed my new short hair before putting on the heanie and looking in the mirror again. It wasn't perfect but the other I had spoken to said that was to be expected on my first try, but I was still happy with it, I finally looked how I felt.

I heard the front door open and Mum shouted out that everyone was home. Well it was now or never. I shouted down the stairs that I home and that I wanted to talk to everyone. I waited a few minutes for everyone to get the chance to sit down in the living room before I took a deep breath and walked down the stairs.

I walked slowly into the living room with my letter in my hand. I stood there for a minute, everyone gasped or gaped at my appearance and mum even burst out "Gracie your hair-" I flinched at her calling me Gracie but cut her off before she could go any further "No mum, not Gracie, not anymore." I said.

I sat down on the couch opposite to everyone. I took another deep breath and just let it all come tumbling out. "I'm not a girl, I was never girl, I know I was born with this body, but it is not who I am, I am a boy, I always was and always will be a boy. I want to change my name and start living fulltime as a boy, I am your son Adam and I know this is hard for you all but I can't keep pretending to be something I'm not."

Everyone looks shocked even Drew who is normally so understanding. We all sat in silence for a while, eventually they all start asking questions or crying and all that stuff, I was ready for this reaction. I answered all the questions they asked me and even cried myself at one point.

That night I packed up all of my old girls clothes and mum put them in the attic, she said she wanted to keep them just in case I changed my mind. I won't. Afterwards we talked about my transferring schools when holidays finished, to give me a fresh new start. Drew is going to transfer with me to keep an eye on me.

I love my family and I know they don't really understand it all just yet, but they are trying. I have the best family ever. Drew is even planning a little celebration to say goodbye to Gracie.

My name is Adam, I am starting at a new school called Degrassi for my 10th year, and I am a FTM.

**A/N This is my first oneshot, I hope everyone likes it. I drew on my own experiences as well at the knowledge from the show.**

**Please R&R**


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